Today my sister releases her first single off her Bekah Bradley EP. The song is dear to me for lots of reasons. The main one … I wrote it.
A few months ago I began writing in my living room. I had a melody in my head and chords at my finger tips. I began writing down these lyrics:
Tears rolled down my eyes. A song about my best friends. A song about loss. Words that brought back memories and new meanings to life. Questions that may never be answered. This song and it’s underlying meanings about God and his angels taking care of me.
“Life. There is more to this life. I was going to sing about lies but I changed it because I was talking about the ocean and Pat and I’s vacation. The chorus picked up and I started to think about the confusion that went on and still goes on surrounding Laura, Marcus, and Pats death. Laura died from cancer. Marcus died from breathing. Pat died in a car wreck. I changed Laura’s name to her alter screen name that was on her myspace, when we all had myspace.
“If everyone’s leaving, why can’t I see them. Why can’t we learn to understand”
Sometimes when I write I don’t have any reason to write when I begin a song. I didn’t this time. Just started writing and ended up with tons of emotion and lots of prayers I prayed.
I recorded the song and sent it to my sister. “This is the best song I have ever written.” I told her. Not hearing back from her for a few minutes I called her. “Bekah this is it!” I told her. “This is the best song I have ever wrote!”
“When did you send it to me?” She asked.
“Like 2 minutes ago”
When she finally did hear the song, we met later and changed the lyrics to have meanings for both of us. She obviously needed something she could market to her fan base. We changed lyrics and not really any melody. The song itself seemed to write very easy.
HERE ARE THE CHANGES WE MADE AND MEANINGS BEHIND THE LYRICS
“Stars they come alive. We walk at night”
This line can be taken three different ways. 1. Walking with God. 2. Walking with a loved one. 3. Walking with a friend/family. I honestly think its about each a little.
“We have this time for now. Till the sun breaks light”
This lays an underline meaning that whoever you are walking with the time you have together will not last. The sun goes down. The sun will come up.
“Cause you’ll loose everything you’ll ever have.”
This is straight from God. Genesis 3:19 “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Everything under the sun won’t last. Nothing. From your toys to your children. It’s a painful line. It’s the one that gets me because of how real it is.
“The people by your side won’t always last”
This is talking about my friend Pat, Marcus & Laura.
“Minutes, Hours, Days and Years.”
We changed “Marcus, Patrick, Lauralye” “Minutes, Hours, Days and Years.” Instead of the exact people involved, its the time measured with them.
This lyric is from Pat singing Ricky Nelson song to me.
“Don’t let the night disappear.”
Our time with the people we love is limited.
“And I didn’t close my eyes all night”
This line is for the parents of my friends. The first night they had to fall asleep without their child. When Pat died I didn’t sleep. I was so young and not ready for his passing. It’s about how can you rest easy when you feel helpless. It’s more than just closing your eyes. It’s dealing with the heartache. You cannot ignore the pain.
“And watching you leave doesn’t make it alright”
This is the reason you cannot fall asleep. It’s the reason you’re not fine years after. It’s the reason behind life decisions after they passed. It’s not an excuse, it’s why your not whole anymore. A part of you is gone.
“If everyone’s leaving, if everything ends”
I wrote this line because I have felt the people close to me, 3 best friends passed away. It just feels like everything/everyone has left me sometimes.
“How can we learn to understand … in life”
Here is a question for God. First off, I don’t want to ask God why he allowed my friends to die. It’s a question about how can I and others not understand his action and still live happy. I don’t want to understand sometimes, but other times I feel if there was a plan to this I could know reasons why. Everyone wants a roadmap to life sometimes.
“Just stay by my side, if just for tonight.”
This refers back to the first night my friend passed. The first day was the hardest. I didn’t want the day to end. I didn’t want them to die.
“They say, heartache won’t always last”
At this point in the song my friends have passed away. I pictured them as the stars in the sky when I wrote “They say, the stars, can make you soft”. Looking at the stars and remembering each star is a loved one, a parent, grandpa, a friend, a child. The lyrics changed to heartache, I’m fine with it but I would rather the lyrics not repeat heartache.
“But heartache brings memories”
As I remember I am sad, but the memory of them is still with me.
“The sun makes the moon shine.”
The is remembering every night comes and we remember our passed loved ones. But the moon is always a remembrance there is always a tomorrow coming, reflecting the sun. There is a night because the sun goes away. We all want to be back with our loved ones who are gone. Someday like the sun, we will be back with our friends and family who are gone.
“I’m glad we had tonight”
Even though my friends have passed, I am happy/grateful/blessed for the time we had together.
“I’m better because of you and I’ll always love you”
My Grandpa Spitnale passed away when I was young. This line is for him. It’s specific but it can be about Pat, Marcus and Laura. I was the only one out of my family and cousins who was old enough to spend lots of time with him. I am better because of what I saw him do. He would always sing worship songs. I think he is the first reason I started loving music.
When the bridge came I didn’t have anything. At that point in the song there was nothing left to say. I couldn’t tell someone anything more than I had already said.
It’s been awhile since I wrote that song. I still sing the original lyrics mixed with the new ones. I won’t ever forget the original lyrics, those are tied to my heart. To hear the song or buy it go here.
The money goes to Bekah and not me … unless she makes a whole lot. But as I always tell anyone I talk to about music … if you’re after money in the music industry, you won’t find it. I write for the love and the emotions. I play because I love it.